Share My Life With Others - Accountability Partners

     We weren't meant to be alone.  From the very beginning of creation, God created us to be a community.  We as Christian's aren't meant to try to live out our faith alone, even though sometimes we feel like we are the only ones.  This is why we gather in buildings on Sunday morning and worship God together in a community; it's part of our very nature as Christian's.  We get it.  We know that we are supposed to go to church with a bunch of other people and sing, listen, and occasionally eat lunch.  But sometimes that's where the community ends.  As soon as it gets personal...we're out.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:12)

      This verse is the beginning of what having accountability partners is all about, but not everything.  Sure, one of the most important roles of an accountability partner is for them to help you overcome temptations in your life.    But that's not where the usefulness of an accountability partner stops.  When we carry each other's burdens, we aren't just carrying their temptations, we are committing to a journey with them.  A journey of prayer, mutual discipleship, and learning.  True accountability partners aren't just about getting to a certain maturity in Christ, but spurring each other onward in Him.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." (Hebrews 3:13) 

Relinquish the False Self - Submission

     When I think about the word submission, I tend to think of being utterly broken down and cowering beneath someone else's power.  That may be the way the world sees submission, but that's not what the biblical view of submission is all about.  It's more about a willing humbling of ourselves.  It's all about giving up everything that makes us selfish so that we can be totally sold out for God.  It's important to focus on the word "willing."  Submission isn't forced on you by God, and it's not about an abusive relationship in which God makes you do whatever he wants you to.  That's the beauty of biblical submission: it's something you have to want to do.

     "[Jesus] Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:6-8)

     Jesus understood the discipline of submission.  Jesus was completely God, but submitted himself to God.  He wasn't saying that God was any better than Him, because He was God.  He was saying, "God the Father, have your way in me."  Submission to God was just a way of Christ telling his Father that he would follow his will to death, which was where he knew he was headed the entirety of his life on earth.

     "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21) 

     So what does it mean to submit to each other "out of reverence for Christ"?  Well it's pretty simple.  We are to model his example!  As Christians, we believe that no one is greater than another.  Paul refers to himself as "less than the least of these" because he realized the importance of staying humble.  Paul is saying in Ephesians that the way to live in a Christian community is to submit to each other in love.  No, that does not make one person greater, it just brings about a community that focuses on serving one another in love.  Every person has their own distinct part in this community; no one can be replaced or set aside without the community suffering as a whole.

Relinquish the False Self - Spiritual Direction

   "Spiritual Direction is 'help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God's personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship." - The Practice of Spiritual Direction 

      This spiritual discipline focuses around one idea: relationship.  More specifically, a relationship between you and someone who acts as your "spiritual director."  For different people that means different things.  For some people it may be your pastor, youth pastor, parents, or maybe an older teen at your youth group or college.  Someone who is mature in Christ and has the ability to teach you what they have learned about Christ.  I guess it could be considered discipleship at its core.

     The bible has many examples of spiritual directors and directees.  One example would be Jesus and his disciples.  I mean who better to be directed by then Jesus himself?  The disciples had the best of the best in that case.  Another example would be Paul to the various churches he writes to.  How about the books of Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians...etc?  These are all examples of books that Paul has written to his directees, and he is challenging them, through his words, to become more Christ-like and to "imitate" him.

     Looking for someone to direct you in your spiritual walk is a pretty big task.  You want to look for someone who is more mature than you, and can really help you.  If you choose a director who is at the same level as you, that's not going to help you grow closer to Christ.  Also, if someone is directing multiple people, it doesn't necessarily mean that the same advice is given to each person.  It doesn't mean that every directee is in the same point in their walk with Christ.  This spiritual discipline is all about the PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP.

Relinquish the False Self - Solitude

     The easiest way to explain the spiritual discipline of solitude is through a relationship.  When you fall in love, there are many times that you just want to be alone with the person that you're in love with.  You don't necessarily do anything important or say anything earth changing.  It's just the fact that you can show your love more completely when you are alone with them.  This shouldn't only hold true for human love, but also for divine love between our heavenly father and ourselves.  Solitude should be a common thing that stems from our desire to have a more intimate relationship with our Creator.

     Jesus, before he even started his ministry, went into the desert in solitude for forty days.  He went there to commune with God.  Many times solitude is used as a place for reflecting and revelation.  When we are alone, away from judgments and interpretations of what we say, we can be totally open.  We begin to find faults in our thoughts, behaviors, and actions.  We also begin to see our strengths, that other people might think as inferior or stupid, but God can use for the building of his kingdom.

     "Let him sit alone in silence for the LORD has laid it on him." (Lamentations 3:28)

     "The practice of solitude involves scheduling enough uninterrupted time in a distraction-free environment that you experience isolation and are alone with God.  Solitude is a 'container discipline' for the practice of other spiritual disciplines." - Spiritual Disciplines Handbook

    

Relinquish the False Self - Silence

     This is probably one of the simplest, but most overlooked spiritual disciplines I have read about in this book.  Silence is so counter-cultural for America.  We live in a world where silence is constantly broken for various reasons, or, no reason at all.  Every day I'm woken up from the silence of my sleep by my alarm clock, and I know many times I use my laptop or my iPod to break the "boring silence" of a car ride.  Is there really anything wrong with waking up to an alarm clock?  No, I really don't think so.

     The point of silence isn't too get rid of everything in your life so that you can sit in a dark room by yourself and just meditate all day.  It's about just taking time to listen.  Silence isn't beneficial if you don't listen to God's voice...ok, so probably not an audible voice, but you know what I mean.  The real point of silence is to use this time as a time of reflection on what God is doing in your life: what he is teaching and showing you.

     "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." (Luke 5:16)

     "After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper." (1 Kings 19:12)

     God moves through the sounds and the silences of our life.  The problem is we only tend to focus on the sounds.  Silence helps us focus in on the gentler, deeper revelations that God "whispers" to us in the silence.  Or rather, he has been "whispering" all along and you were just making too much noise yourself to listen.  I know I'm guilty of not hearing the whisper until much later than God planned for me too.

Relinquish the False Self - Secrecy

     When I think of secrecy, it usually crosses my mind in a negative way.  I know many times over the years people have told me that secrets cause division and are bad, but I guess it really all depends on the nature of the "secrets."  I mean I see two different kinds of secrets: one is for benefit, and one is for humility.  I think the real spiritual discipline of secrecy centers around the second kind, so that's what I'm going to focus on here.


     I know that human nature goes against the idea of anonymity.  We always want to be in the limelight; always want recognition for any small act or service we do.  Many times, we do stuff for the SOLE reason of being noticed.  Like in the gospels we see the Pharisees give extremely public and extravagant prayers.  Why? Because everyone can see them, and everyone will realize how "spiritual" they really are.  But recognition and praise from fellow believers about your faith isn't what being a Christian is about.  Jesus really promotes this idea of secrecy (humility kind) many times throughout the gospels.  Here's an example:

     "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Matthew 6:6)

    
     "A deed that exists for the sake of recognition is not for God; it's for you." (Spiritual Disciplines Handbook).  That's really what it all comes down to.  I mean, God calls us to live out our faith and be on fire for him, and Paul tells us to pray constantly, but do they every speak of showing off?  I don't think so.  The whole point behind secrecy is humbling yourself.  When you pray, do it in a humble manner.

     Have you ever tried praying to God like he's your best friend?  Often times, myself included, we feel like we have to "pump up" our prayers with big words that make us sound extremely intelligent or spiritual, but God can really see through all that.  The heart of our deeds is what makes them actually living out our faith.  I can build a million church buildings, but if it's for recognition, then what's the point?  I gain nothing from it in God's eyes.  But if I were to build one church building and never tell anyone, would that not be a better example of living out my faith?

     So what will I do tomorrow?  Will I open the door for somebody?  Will I do devotions and pray?  Will I save a child from running into the street?  You won't know...that's the application of this spiritual discipline.

Relinquish the False Self - Discernment

     I almost don't want to post this section just because I'm afraid of totally butchering it up.  I have had many conversations with younger friends who ask me for advice on how to discern God's will for their life.  Before reading this section, I've always just had one answer: pray about it.  It has always been a hard topic for me to explain to others, because God's calling comes to every single person in a unique way; no two callings are the same.  We have callings such as Paul's where he was knocked to the ground and blinded by God, and we have Moses, who was called through a burning bush.

     There are many different views on discerning God's will.  Some Christian's tend to believe that when given two situations, it is always God's will for you to choose the more sacrificial and difficult of the options, while some believe that God's will is whatever option brings you riches, perks, or success.  I think that in most cases, some kind of sacrifice is involved; if only a sacrifice of your time.  I also believe that God blesses you when you follow his will for your life, even though your blessings may not be what you expect.

     "Biblical discernment involves more than good judgment, open doors and decision making skills.  Right discernment arises out of a relationship with God in prayer.  It is founded on the reality of the Holy Spirit's presence within us.  Jesus makes it clear the Holy Spirit is our Counselor and Guide into God's will and ways."  -  Spiritual Disciplines Handbook

    
     One of the most important things to remember when searching for God's will is to be patient.  God may not reveal to you your calling after you pray your first prayer.  I believe that sometimes Christian's feel like they can force God's hand into revealing his will by praying or fasting all the time.  There's a simple fact: God only works on HIS time.  Discernment of God's will depends on trust; trust that God will provide, and that he always has good intentions toward us.